To: All Spanish Employees. More Education. Please.

To: All Spanish Employees
Several visitors to our office have brought to our attention that our Spanish-speaking employees commonly use offensive language. Such behavior, in addition to violating firm practices, is highly unprofessional, offensive both to visitors and employees, and will not be tolerated.
Therefore, we have decided to implement a series of rules in our office and would expect them to be applied. It is expected that ALL employees immediately adhere to these rules:
- Words like coño, carajo and other such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion may get.
- Non important matters should not be addressed to as gilipolleces.
- You will not say la has cagao or me cago en  when someone makes a mistake, All forms and derivatives of the word cagar are inappropriated in our environment.
- Lack of determination will not be referred to as falta de cojones or mariconerías 
 -When a good proposal is presented, the term esto está de puta madre must not be used.
- Unusual or creative brainstorming meetings will not be referred to as pajas mentales.
- Do not say no me jodas if a person is persistent, or estás jodido if somebody is going through a difficult situation.  
- ¿Qué carajo quieres? Must be substituted by "may I help you?".
- When any office equipment fails, it must be reported as "it broke down", not se descojonó, or se jodió la mierda ésta.
Thank you for your cooperation